Why women stay

Because the relationship started out so wonderfully and because he can be so terrific after a fight, you hold onto the idea that you can bring out the best in him. Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships Leaving is Not Easy Often friends, coworkers, and even family of abused women ask this question, thinking that making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is easy.

He called to say good morning. She told the researchers that at meetings, men would mistake her as a secretary, when in fact she was a software engineer.

Over time the cycle gets shorter, with fewer days of calm before the storm.

Sometimes he lets you see a sweet vulnerability that melts your heart. Shame and Low Self-Esteem If the abuse has gone on for some time, a woman's self-esteem erodes to the point that she feels she deserves the abuse.

If another guy even looked at you, he put his arm protectively around you. How is she going to support her children and herself. Where are they going to live.

I am not a psychologist, I speak from years of personal experience and from spending time with women who have endured domestic abuse.

The poison of abuse can be subtle and insidious at first, only to escalate as the victim becomes more compliant and fearful. She knows a good man is underneath the violence and control. Why would you stay with someone who is causing you pain, making you afraid, or even damaging your children.

Love conquers all, right. What was wrong with Palmer that she would do this. Also, the abusive partner may threaten to take or harm the children if your friend leaves. Victims continue to believe in the ideas of their abusers long after they have left the abusive environment.

This form of abuse erodes the victim's sense of self-worth and judgement. It puts the responsibility on the victim to do things better, to try harder, in hopes the acts of kindness will become more frequent. If she leaves, he is going to find her and he will hurt her loved ones her children, her family, and her friends.

Key factors cited by women who left abusive relationships include: A woman might feel unable to support her children on her own, or she might fear for her children's well-being and safety if she leaves. He wanted to be the last voice you heard before you went to sleep.

Their may be threats by the abuser that he will turn the children against his partner if she leaves.

If she leaves, he is going to kill her, the children, and then himself. Throw those in the mix, and it's likely some form of domestic abuse is happening to you or someone close to you. She has a job but her income is small, how is she going to make it.

Why would you put up with such despicable, destructive behavior from the person who is supposed to love you the most. Challenging norms Working behind the scenes also resonated with many women in the study who equated a visible presence with attention-seeking behaviors like being aggressive or self-promoting.

In this situation she is totally dependent on him to communicate with the outside world. Attachment To Their Partner An abusive relationship can begin as a loving relationship. They found that for many of the women they studied, there are competing expectations that get in the way of them following common career tips like "take a seat at the table," "speak with authority" and "interject at meetings.

All the women you grew up with were in abusive, difficult relationships. They say they will commit suicide if you leave — and it will be all your fault. Guilt can easily turn into shame when it is internalized.

If she leaves, he is going to kill her, the children, and then himself. Staying out of the spotlight at work helped these women maintain both professional and personal stability.

Rather than confront the stereotype, she chose to shrug it off. Your friend may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship. Lack of Financial Resources — The woman who is being victimized may not have access to money or other financial resources.

Or she might be brainwashed by her partner to believe she can't cope without him. The constant question is “Why doesn’t she just leave?” The answer is much more complicated that it appears.

Domestic violence takes many forms and includes many factors, some of which encourage conditions that keep a woman psychologically insecure, economically dependent and socially isolated.

There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships.

If you have a friend in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, support them by understanding why they may not want to or be able to leave. Conflicting Emotions. Fear: Your friend may be afraid of what will happen if they decide to leave the relationship.

If your friend has been threatened by their partner, family or friends, they may not feel. Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships Leaving is Not Easy Often friends, coworkers, and even family of abused women ask this question, thinking that making the decision to leave an abusive relationship is easy.

Why did women choose this approach? We identified three motivations: to avoid conflict or backlash, to feel authentic at work, and to balance professional and personal demands. After a video was released showing Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée, now-wife Janay Palmer so hard that he knocked her unconscious, victims of domestic abuse took to Twitter to explain why Palmer still decided to become Mrs.

Rice after the incident. 8 Bad Reasons Women Stay in Painful Relationships Because being someone’s everything is intoxicating stuff – at least at first. When you met, he only had eyes for you.

Why women stay